no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
