So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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