How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
