i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
