A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
