ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
