hotel room ftw
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
