Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
