On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
