Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
