he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
