she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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