Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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