Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
