I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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