I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
