I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
