I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
