I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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