I haven't been this sober since birth.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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