We need to rekindle our bromance
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
