atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
