is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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