i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
