I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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