My first STD was from a foam party
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
