Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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