So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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