tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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