If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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