great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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