is wine microwaveable?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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