butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
