this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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