I didn't shave. On purpose
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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