Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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