I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
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