In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
