I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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