I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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