You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
