True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
