you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
