Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
