Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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