I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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