Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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