Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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