she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The air was thick with penises
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
