apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
